Delmore Schwartz (1913—1966)
本文題目應該譯作「責任於夢想中開始」，然文中所謂的夢想，似指戀愛，所謂責任，似指婚姻，故暫譯為「君子好逑」。
作者史華茲，為美國猶太裔詩人、小說家，曾任《宗派評論》（Partisan Review）副編輯。這篇小說原來是在《宗派評論》上發表的。該刊搜集歷年所發表的短篇小說佳作十餘篇，出版選集一本，書名《新體小說選》（Stories in the Modern Manner）。此處所錄即從該書中摘出。史氏第一部小說、詩歌集即名In Dreams Begin Responsibilities（1938）。
I think it is the year 1909. I feel as if I were in a motion picture theatre, the long arm of light crossing the darkness and spinning, my eyes fixed on the screen. This is a silent picture, in which the actors are dressed in ridiculously old-fashioned clothes, and one flash succeeds another with sudden jumps. The actors too seem to jump about and walk too fast. The shots themselves are full of dots and rays, as if it were raining when the picture was photographed. The light is bad.
● 責任於夢想中開始，整個故事亦是「南柯一夢」。
● 小說中的主人公自稱似乎置身於1909年，又像是在看電影。long arm of light：放映機射至銀幕上的一道白光。spinning：旋轉。fixed是過去分詞：眼睛全神貫注地看著銀幕。
● silent picture：無聲電影。ridiculously：可笑地。one flash succeeds another：銀幕上的光線，一閃一閃的很不穩定；一亮之後，突然一跳，接著又是一亮。
● jump about：東跳西跳，舊時電影的攝制和放映技術均惡劣，演員的一舉一動似乎都在跳躍。
● shots：一幕一幕的鏡頭。dots：斑點。rays：光線；大約指亂七八糟的光線。
It is Sunday afternoon, June 12, 1909, and my father is walking down the quiet streets of Brooklyn on his way to visit my mother. His clothes are newly pressed and his tie is too tight in his high collar. He jingles the coins in his pockets, thinking of the witty things he will say. He walks from street to street of trees, lawns and houses, once in a while coming to an avenue on which a streetcar skates and gnaws, slowly progressing. It is obviously Sunday, for everyone is wearing Sunday clothes, and the streetcar's noises emphasize the quiet of the holiday.
● 銀幕上的人物出現了，第一個人是他的父親。
● Brooklyn：紐約市之一區，在Long Island上。
● pressed：壓平，燙平。tight：緊。collar：領子。
● jingles：玩弄而使叮噹發響。witty things：俏皮話；父親去看母親，路上先準備好一套巧妙的言語。
● once in a while=occasionally：偶爾。avenue：大馬路，通衢大道。本來是在小街上走，有時也會碰上一條大馬路。streetcar：電車。skates：滑冰（電車在鐵軌上像是滑冰似的滑著過去的）。gnaws：用勁地慢慢地咬（電車有時候走得不很滑溜，像是在咬什麼東西）。skates和gnaws兩字用以敘述電車的運動，恐怕是作者創用，並非現成字眼。
● 那時紐約遵奉安息日的制度似尚未廢弛，星期日店舖大多關門，街上靜悄悄的，電車的鬧聲，似乎只是強調了周圍的靜寂。
My father has chosen to take this long walk because he likes to walk and think. He thinks about himself in the future. He thinks of my mother, of how nice it will be to introduce her to his family. But he is not yet sure that he wants to marry her, and once in a while he becomes panicky about the bond already established. He reassures himself by thinking of the big men he admires who are married: William Randolph Hearst, and William Howard Taft, who has just become President of the United States.
● panicky：大恐慌。the bond already established：兩人間已經建立好的關係。那時其人的父親還在追求期間,他想不想同他的女朋友結婚呢？他自己也不大清楚。可是偶爾想起他們倆已經相愛得難捨難分了（bond：束縛），其勢非結婚不可，不由得慌張起來。
● 可是再一想他所崇拜的大人物中也有兩個結過婚的（報業大王Hearst和Taft總統）。這樣一想，膽子也就壯了一點。
My father arrives at my mother's house. He has come too early and so is suddenly embarrassed. My aunt, my mother's sister, answers the loud bell with her napkin in her hand, for the family is still at dinner. As my father enters, my grandfather rises from the table and shakes hands with him. My mother has run upstairs to tidy herself. My grandmother asks my father if he has had dinner, and tells him that Rose will be downstairs soon. My grandfather opens the conversation by remarking on the mild June weather. My father sits uncomfortably near the table, holding his hat in his hand. My grandmother tells my aunt to take my father's hat. My uncle, twelve years old, runs into the house, his hair tousled. He shouts a greeting to my father, who has often given him a nickel, and then runs upstairs.
● embarrassed：窘迫。answers the bell：聽見鈴響，出去開門。napkin：餐巾。女方家裡還在進午餐，小姐的妹妹匆匆忙忙提了餐巾出來開門。情郎到得太早了，突然覺得很窘。
● grandfather=father of one's father or mother，此處乃外祖父。
● tidy herself：打扮。注意此句時態用的是現在完成式has run：小姐一聽見門外的人聲，就躲到樓上去化妝了，故此人進屋時，小姐已經在樓上了。
● Rose：小姐的名字。
● mild June weather：六月天氣正是不冷不熱，外祖父無話可說，乃從天氣講起。
● holding his hat in his hand：怪不舒服的靠著餐桌旁坐下，帽子還捧在手裡，虧得外祖母會體貼，叫姨母把帽子拿走（給掛好）。
● tousled：頭髮蓬鬆。十二歲的頑童舅舅從外面闖進來，大聲地叫應了一聲，奔上樓去了。nickel：五分鎳幣；這位小舅舅常常「受賄」的。
Finally my mother comes downstairs, all dressed up, and my father being engaged in conversation with my grandfather becomes uneasy, not knowing whether to greet my mother or continue the conversation. He gets up from the chair clumsily and says "hello" gruffly. My grandfather watches, examining their congruence, such as it is, with a critical eye, and meanwhile rubbing his bearded cheek roughly, as he always does when he reflects. He is worried; he is afraid that my father will not make a good husband for his oldest daughter.
● 其人之母打扮好下樓來了，其人之父正在同外祖父談天，一時變得很尷尬，不知道該同小姐打招呼呢，還是繼續聊下去。
● clumsily：笨手笨腳地。gruffly：粗嗄地。他這樣打了一個招呼，足見同外祖父聊天的話鋒是打斷了。
● congruence：合適；相稱，和諧。外祖父也不聊天了，索性冷眼（critical eye）旁觀，看看這對情侶究竟能夠琴瑟協調到什麼程度，未來的事情他看不到，就拿目前他們倆在一起的情形來說吧：究竟是「一對璧人」呢？還是「綵鳳隨鴉」呢？such as it is=such congruence as now exists。
● bearded cheek：長有鬍子的臉龐。he always does when he reflects：他思索的時候，手就在自己毛茸茸的臉頰上使勁地摸。
● worried：擔憂。外祖父擇婿甚苛，還怕這位情郎不能做個好丈夫呢。
At this point something happens to the film, just as my father is saying something funny to my mother. The audience begins to clap impatiently. Then the trouble is cared for but the film has been returned to a portion just shown, and once more I see my grandfather rubbing his bearded cheek and pondering my father's character.
● 讀者讀到這裡也許忘了這是在說夢話：上面種種原來都是講故事的人在夢中看電影看來的。這時候他父親正對他母親說笑話，電影出毛病了，觀眾開始不耐煩地鼓掌（clap）。毛病修好了，可是電影又回復到剛剛演過的一段（portion）上去了，只見他的外祖父還是抓耳扒腮地在考慮（pondering）他父親的性格。
My father and mother depart from the house. They walk down the same quiet streets once more. My mother is holding my father's arm and telling him of the novel which she has been reading, and my father utters judgments of the characters as the plot is made clear to him. My mother feels very satisfied by the interest which she has awakened; she is showing my father how intelligent she is and how interesting.
● the same quiet streets：就是他父親的來路。
● the novel which she has been reading：這幾天她正在看的那本小說（注意動詞的時態）。（telling a person of something：跟他講這件事。）
● characters：小說中的人物。plot：佈局。他母親把故事情節說明（made clear）後，他父親就開口評論書中的人物。
● satisfied：滿意。他母親的談話，果然引起他父親的興趣，心裡很是得意。她同他討論那本小說，正是要讓他看看：她是多麼的聰明，為人又是多麼的有趣。how interesting=how interesting she is。
They reach the avenue, and the streetcar leisurely arrives. They are going to Coney Island this afternoon, although my mother considers that such pleasures are inferior. My father tells my mother how much money he has made in the past week, exaggerating an amount which need not have been exaggerated. But my father has always felt that actualities somehow fall short.
● leisurely：懶洋洋地。
● Coney Island：Brooklyn之南的一個海濱遊樂中心，但品格不高，故他的母親認為那邊的玩意兒都是低級趣味（inferior）的。可是他們還是坐電車上那邊去了，這大約是屈從男方的旨意了。
● an amount which need not have been exaggerated：這筆數目本來就相當大，用不著再誇大的了。need在這裡是助動詞，故雖然主語是第三人稱單數，也不加s。
● actualities：現實情形。fall short=are insufficient。父親總覺得實際數目不大夠似的，非得要誇張一下不可。
Suddenly I begin to weep. The old lady who sits next to me in the theatre is annoyed and looks at me with an angry face, and being intimidated, I stop. I drag out my handkerchief and dry my face, licking the drop which has fallen near my lips. Meanwhile I have missed something, for here are my mother and father alighting at the last stop, Coney Island.
● 看電影的人忽然哭起來了。父母雙雙挽臂出遊，人生大事快要定局，這應該是好事，並不是惡夢，有什麼值得哭哭啼啼的呢？但是好夢方酣，人生之責任亦於焉開始，小說中主人翁欣賞其父母談情說愛之餘，潸然涕下，也許是喜極而哭，但是更可能的，也許是面對人生現實，心中為之怵然，戒慎恐懼之念一動，不覺悲從中來罷了。
● 前面幾段描寫其父去岳家求愛情形，輕鬆有趣，好像是在調侃上一代的求偶風俗，這篇文字似乎該屬於comedy of manners一類。又如把那一對情侶送到花前月下去走走，把愛情多描寫一番，那麼本文應該是一篇帶牧歌情調（idyllic）的抒情文學了。若就其癡人說夢一點來說，本文又是一篇幻想曲（fantasy）。可是本文平穩中隱伏緊張，主流底下還有逆流，實應該屬於正路戲劇（drama）一類。讀者看完全文後自會明白，這裡不必多說。其人看電影忽然流淚，似乎來得突兀，但是就整篇主題看來，這一筆亦不可省。
● 最煞風景的是電影院裡坐在他隔壁的一個老太婆，她看他哭得討厭，對他怒目相向，其人被她一嚇（intimidated），趕快忍氣吞聲把眼淚擦乾，一顆已經掉到他嘴邊的淚珠，也用舌頭舔去，可是電車上的愛情鏡頭他大多沒有看見，等到他眼淚擦乾，電車已經到了最後一站（stop），他的父母二人也在Coney Island下車（alighting）了。
They walk toward the boardwalk, and my father tells my mother to inhale the pungent air from the sea. They both breathe in deeply, both of them laughing as they do so. On the boardwalk's flagpole, the American flag is pulsing in an intermittent wind from the sea.
● boardwalk：海濱沙灘上鋪有木板（boards），供人散步的道路。inhale：吸入。pungent：濃烈、刺激性的。凡是「鑽鼻子，沖腦門」的怪味俱可適用此字，通常指「辛辣」，此處指「鹹腥」之味。海風大約有醒腦健身之功，所以男的勸女的多吸些進去。
● flagpole：旗桿。pulsing（pulse）原指脈搏的跳動，轉作一切有規律的動作，此處乃「飄動」。intermittent：時發時歇的；吹吹停停的。
My father and mother go to the rail of the boardwalk and look down on the beach where a good many bathers are casually walking about. A few are in the surf. The boardwalk is full of people dressed in their Sunday clothes and idly strolling. My father and mother lean on the rail of the boardwalk and absently stare at the ocean.
● rail：欄杆。beach：沙灘。bathers：不一定是洗浴的人，凡是在水裡游泳，或是浸浸泡泡的人，此字都可適用。casually：隨隨便便地。surf：拍岸之浪。
● Sunday clothes：平日捨不得穿，專在星期日或重要場合穿著的衣服。strolling：漫步。
● lean：倚憑。absently：心不在焉地。
The ocean is becoming rough. The waves come in slowly, and then crack, dashing fiercely upon the sand, bouncing upward and forward, and at last petering out into a small stream which races up the beach and then is recalled. My parents gaze absentmindedly at the ocean, scarcely interested in its harshness. The sun overhead does not disturb them. But as I stared at the terrible sun and the fatal, merciless ocean, I forget my parents. I stare fascinated and finally, shocked by the indifference of my father and mother, I burst out weeping once more. The old lady next to me pats me on the shoulder and says, "There, there, all of this is only a movie, young man, only a movie," but I look up once more at the terrifying sun and the terrifying ocean, and being unable to control my tears, I get up and go to the men's room, stumbling over the feet of the other people seated in my row.
● rough：波濤起伏。crack：碎裂，浪花迸發。bouncing：跳躍。petering out：勢力轉弱，歸於消沉。海水往岸上打來，其勢初頗遲緩，繼而浪花四濺，聲勢洶湧，直上沙灘，平地凌空，一躍而前，但終於力竭消沉，化為細流一條，餘勢未歇，仍向沙灘上方奔去（races up the beach），迅即急流勇退，召歸大海（recalled）。
● harshness：波濤洶湧之狀。
● disturb them：擾亂他們的心神。
● fatal, merciless ocean：操生殺之權的無情的海洋。
● fascinated：出神（過去分詞，形容主語I）。indifference：漠然，不感興趣。頂上日光灼目，腳下怒潮澎湃，可是其人之父母只是憑欄眺望，悠然若有所思，對於眼前景物不感興趣。這樣把銀幕下的這位看客氣壞了。他自己看太陽看海水看出神了，他的父母為什麼這樣漠不關心呢？想是兩人心心相印，神思專一，無暇再顧及外物了。
● 行文至此，讀者可以看出來：這位說夢的癡人是不大贊成他的父母的戀愛的。他的父母如不戀愛，就不會結婚，不結婚就不會有他這樣一個人。一個為自己的生命而喜悅的人，應該感謝他父母當初的戀愛。誰要是不贊成自己父母的戀愛，這個人對於人生的態度大概是悲觀的，而且也許是病態的。
● 但是本文並不想提出一種言之成理的人生觀，它只是表示一種感情的態度，這種態度可能很不合理，但是感情的態度本無需乎合理。何況整篇故事是一個夢：一個最正常健全的人也常常會做些悖逆荒謬的夢。據近代心理學研究，隱藏於一個人心底下的感情的態度，往往可以左右此人的言行舉止乃至思想推理。而瞭解這種隱藏的感情，夢常常是一種很好的線索。小說假如是反映人生的，那麼人生的合理的方面，和不合理的方面，應該統統在反映之列。偉大的作品決不逃避現實，也決不怕描寫人生任何不合理的情形；只是近代小說對於人生不合理的一方面——諸如夢和白日夢，隱藏的喜和憎，遏制的慾望等等情形，特別覺得有興趣，而多加描寫而已。
● 所以讀者要欣賞這一篇小說，請且慢責備這個癡人的荒謬。正當的欣賞態度是：這一種感情的態度是不是人生很普通的現象？即使有人認為並不普通，但是照作者寫來，這種情形是不是可能的？他的處理方式能不能令人心服？他描寫輕鬆的地方，是不是使讀者也覺得輕鬆？他描寫緊張的地方，是不是使讀者也跟著緊張？他的組織是不是緊湊？他是不是恰到好處地把他的這種感情的態度表達出來了？還有一點很重要的：他所提出的人生問題是不是很有意義的問題？讀者讀過這篇小說之後，會不會對於人生增添一點認識？會不會對於人生多添一點嚴肅敬畏的感覺？
● 說到這裡，還是回到原文：那人看見父母對於日光海洋漠不關心，心中大為驚奇，又哭起來了。（他已哭過一次，見前文。）隔壁的那位老太太拍拍（pats）他的肩說道：「喂，喂（There, there表示安慰鼓勵之意），小伙子，這不過是電影而已，何必因此傷心呢？」可是他看看可怕的太陽和可怕的海洋，眼淚兀是忍不住地往下流，他因此就起身到廁所（men's room）裡去哭個痛快了，出去的時候太擠，還是從同排看客的腳上跌出去的。
When I return, several hours have apparently passed and my parents are looking for a place to have dinner. My father suggests the best one on the boardwalk and my mother demurs, in accordance with her principles.
However they do go to the best place, asking for a table near the window, so that they can look out on the boardwalk and the mobile ocean. The place is crowded and there is music from a kind of string trio. My father orders dinner with a fine confidence.
● 他從廁所裡回來，銀幕上顯然（apparently）又是好幾個鐘頭過去了，他的父母正在找地方吃晚飯。他父親提議到路邊最好的館子去吃，可是他母親反對（demurs）。反對也沒有什麼理由，只是根據她的原則，她大約是不贊成進豪華的餐館，花費太多的。
● mobile：流動的，蕩漾的。
● string trio：絃樂三重奏；普通由第一第二小提琴和大提琴各一組織而成，這裡是a kind of string trio（某一種的絃樂三重奏），可能似是而非，並不照此規定。
● orders：點菜。with a fine confidence：態度很有自信；不慌不忙，指揮若定。
As the dinner is eaten, my father tells of his plans for the future, and my mother shows with expressive face how interested she is, and how impressed. My father becomes exultant. He is lifted up by the waltz that is being played, and his own future begins to intoxicate him. My father tells my mother that he is going to expand his business, for there is a great deal of money to be made. He wants to settle down. After all, he is twenty-nine, he is making more and more money, and he is envious of his married friends, and then as the waltz reaches the moment when all the dancers swing madly, then, then with awful daring, then he asks my mother to marry him, although awkwardly enough and puzzled even in his excitement, at how he had arrived at the proposal, and she, to make the whole business worse, begins to cry, and my father looks nervously about, not knowing at all what to do now, and my mother says: "It's all I've wanted from the moment I saw you."
● expressive face：善於表情的臉。impressed：聽後印象很深。how interested she is, and how impressed這一種句法上文已用過一次：how intelligent she is, and how interesting。
● exultant：十分高興。
● waltz：一種舞曲，普通譯作「華爾茲」。lifted up：音樂把人「舉」起來了？應該是聽得飄飄然而已。intoxicate him：使他陶醉。
● expand：擴張。
● settle down：成家立業，不再飄蕩。
● 描寫求婚的這一句很長，句法略嫌嚕囌，但非如此不足盡這位情郎的興奮與尷尬之妙。請注意連用四個then（then as the waltz…, then, then…, then he asks my mother…），讀者讀到這裡，當可想像這位情郎吞吞吐吐，欲說又止的神情。
● envious of：羨慕。swing madly：瘋狂地旋轉。with awful daring：提起了可怕的勇氣。
● awkwardly enough：情形夠窘了。puzzled連後面的at：迷惑不解；即使說他那時很興奮吧，但是他自己也不明白怎麼會走到（arrived at）求婚這條路上來的。
● to make the whole business worse：他本來已經窘不堪言，她這麼一哭，事情更糟了。looks nervously about：慌慌張張地東張西望。
It was then that I stood up in the theatre and shouted, "Don't do it. It's not too late to change your minds, both of you. Nothing good will come of it." The whole audience turned to look at me, annoyed, the usher came hurrying down the aisle flashing his searchlight, and the old lady next to me tugged me down into my seat, saying: "Be quiet. You'll be put out, and you paid thirty-five cents to come in." And so I shut my eyes because I could not bear to see what was happening. I sat there quietly.
● 他父母的愛情愈增進，癡人的神情也愈緊張。
● Nothing good will come of it：不會有好結果的。
● annoyed：覺得很討厭（過去分詞，形容The whole audience）。usher：電影院裡領人入坐的職員；「帶座的」。aisle：座位之間的大通道（此字s不讀音，ai讀i長音/ai/）。searchlight：電筒（探照燈亦是此字）。tugged：用力地拉。put out：驅逐出去。thirty-five cent：戲票之價（注意paid用過去式，因為買票已經是過去的事）。
● bear：忍受。
But after a while I begin to take brief glimpses, and at length I watch again with thirsty interest. My parents have passed a fortune-teller's booth, and my mother wishes to go in, but my father does not. They begin to argue about it. My mother becomes stubborn, and then they begin to quarrel. My mother refuses to budge. She is near to tears, but she feels an uncontrollable desire to hear what the palm-reader will say. My father consents angrily, and they both go into a booth which is draped in black cloth and its light is shadowed. The fortune-teller, a fat, short woman, comes into the room from the back and greets them.
● take brief glimpses：偶然偷瞧幾眼。at length：終於。with thirsty interest：興趣極大。
● fortune-teller's booth：算命術士的木棚。
● budge：讓步（本解作「細微的移動」，大多用在否定句中；相當於中文的「決不移動分毫」、「絲毫不肯移動」等說法）。
● near to tears：要哭出來了。palm-reader：看手相的。
● draped：（牆上）圍（以黑布）。
● greets：打招呼（如說「good evening」）。
But suddenly my father feels that the whole thing is intolerable; he tugs at my mother's arm, but my mother refuses to budge. And then, in terrible anger, my father lets go of my mother's arm and strides out, leaving my mother stunned. She moves to go after my father, but the fortune-teller holds her arm tightly and begs her not to do so, and I in my seat am shocked more than ever, and I get up from my seat and begin to shout and once more the usher comes hurrying down the aisle flashing his searchlight, and the old lady pleads with me, and the shocked audience has turned to stare at me, and I keep shouting: "What are they doing? Don't they know what they are doing? Why doesn't my mother go after my father? If she does not do that, what will she do? Doesn't my father know what he is doing now?"
● intolerable：令人不能忍受。
● lets go of my mother's arm：把她手臂放走（注意中間的of）。strides out：大踏步跨將出去。stunned：怔住了。
● pleads with me：懇求我。
● 父親求婚成功不久，就同母親吵架了，此人看得大為著急，大嚷起來。「What are they doing?」「他們二人在幹些什麼呢？他們不知道他們在幹什麼嗎？母親為什麼不追出去呢？她不追出去，她還想打算什麼呢？父親做事如此狠心，他自己知道不知道呢？」
● 最後一句敘事很多，但是主要的連接詞只用and一個，句子雖長，句法並不複雜。
But the usher has seized my arm and is dragging me away and as he does so, he says: "What are you doing? Don't you know that you can't do whatever you want to do? Why should a young man like you, with your whole life before you, get hysterical like this? Why don't you think of what you're doing?" and he said that dragging me through the lobby of the theatre into the cold light, and I woke up into the bleak winter morning of my 21st birthday, the windowsill shining with its lip of snow, and the morning already begun.
● 帶座的已經抓住了他的臂膀，把他拖出去，一面拖，一面說道：「你在幹什麼？你知道不知道一個人做事不能愛鬧就鬧，愛嚷就嚷的？像你這樣一個小伙子，前途正是遠大得很，為什麼偏這樣瘋瘋癲癲（hysterical）的呢？為什麼你不想你在幹些什麼呢？」他說著，把他拖過電影院穿堂（lobby），一直把他送到門外，門外既冷且亮（cold light：冷的光明？）和電影院的溫暖黑暗大不相同。
● 到了外面，人就驚醒了。醒來正是此人的二十一歲生辰，冬天的早晨，景物蕭索（bleak），窗檻上面堆了一層雪（lip of snow），閃閃發光，黑夜已盡，時間已經早晨了。（begun：過去分詞，形容morning。又請注意said和woke改用過去式，表示夢醒以後已進入另一境界。夢醒以前用的都是historical present。）
● 一個人二十一歲初度，做這樣一個怪夢，大約不算太離奇吧。弱冠之年已過，人生前途正是遠大得很，但是人到那時，會起什麼樣的感慨呢？歡樂和希望，心裡當然多少也有一點，但是主要的恐怕還是覺得童年之一去不復返，人生的擔子非硬著頭皮挑下去不可了。悵惘和恐懼之感恐怕是難免的。在這樣情形之下，此人夢見了自己父母當年戀愛的情形。父母戀愛結婚，生兒育女，這事也平常得很，但是轉瞬之間，兒子已經二十一歲。要說奇怪，人生的神秘恐莫大於此。這個青年，在生日前夕做了這樣一個怪夢，一覺醒來，窗外積雪，晨曦初上，眼前為之一亮，但是被人從戲院裡硬拖出來，身上又感覺得一陣寒冷。醒來了就不必做夢了，在此寒冷清明的清晨，還是坐起來吧。